Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Pilot With No Arms!

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Friday, December 25, 2009

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Friday, December 11, 2009

An Italian Auction

A Chinese Ming vase is up for auction. The bidding opens at a half-million Euros. Bidding is brisk and each bidder is clearly identified as each raises the bid by 100,000 Euros. (The exchange rate today is 1 Euro = US$1.54.)

Within seconds, the bid stalls at one million Euros, and the gasp from the crowd identifies the excitement that prevails in the room. The successful bidder is the last one who bid one million, and the auctioneer counts down the bid, "Going once, going twice, and sold to the gentleman sitting in front of me for one million Euros."

Now, you are going to have to see the video for yourself. The auctioneer is exuberant. The pace is fast. The conclusion? Priceless.

Friday, November 27, 2009

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Friday, September 18, 2009

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Rich Son Poor Son

Moral of the Story:
Better to have a poor son who takes care of his parents, than to having rich and successful sons who have no time for their parents!

Friday, September 11, 2009

Saturday, September 05, 2009

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Monday, August 17, 2009

Friday, August 14, 2009

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Monday, August 10, 2009

Saturday, August 08, 2009

Suicide in Hong Kong

German & Chinese Tech Parking

German Tech Parking:

Chinese Tech Parking:

Thursday, August 06, 2009

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Michael Jackson's Changing of Face

He's Gone!

Deadly Night Shift from 2.5 miles away

Modern weapons! Simply Amazing.....if not Deadly....

This is an actual Night Vision video clip from Iraq.

Read this first so you know what you are watching, then watch the video.

You have to watch this... this is unreal, 2.5 miles away, at night and it looks like they are right there.

Heck of a weapon too.......

The pictures were taken from an AC130 Specter gunship two and a half miles away.

The guys in the picture are setting up a roadside bomb and planning to ambush an American convoy which followed a short while after the pictures were taken.

They were setting up for the ambush and were pacing off the distance from the bomb to where the convoy was to pass by.

Turn your sound up. The level of effort these crews put forth to control the enemy's antics is commendable, and their marksmanship with those electronically controlled 40 mm cannons is astounding.

Friday, July 10, 2009

New Russian Jet Fighter Plane


Russia now has the number 1 fighter plane in the world... SU-30- Vectored Thrust with Canards.

As you watch this airplane, look at the canards moving along side of, and just below the canopy rail. The "canards" are the Small wings forward of the main wings.? The smoke and contrails provide a sense of the actual flight path, sometimes in reverse direction.

This video is of an in-flight demonstration flown by the Russian's-30MK fighter aircraft. You will not believe what you are About to see.

The fighter can stall from high speed, stopping forward motion in seconds (full stall). Then it demonstrates an ability to descend tail first without causing a compressor stall. It can also recover from a flat spin in less than a minute. These maneuver capabilities don't exist in any other aircraft in the world today.. Take a look at the video with the sound up.

This aircraft is of concern to U.S. and NATO planners. We don't know which nations Will soon be flying the SU-30MK. They're hoping China isn't one of them......

Lawrence Livermore of US National Laboratory Note:

"Friends worked with advanced aircraft flight control systems and concepts for many years as an extension of stability control and means of control. Canards and vectored thrust were among many concepts examined to extend our fighter aircraft performance.

"Neither our current or next generation aircraft now poised for funding & production can in any way match the performance of this Russian aircraft NOW FLYING, in any near combat situation. Somehow the bankrupt Russian aircraft industry has out-produced our complex politically tainted aerospace

"Scratch any ideas of close in air-to-air combat with this aircraft in the future. Looking for the perfect gift?".

Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Saturday, July 04, 2009

Tyres safety

Please note the instruction on the video.

I had argument with local tyre shop owner on this before. He had insisted on putting the new tyres on the front. (His argument is that nowadays most cars are front-wheel drive so the driving force is from the front wheel BUT as shown in the video, it is the grip whilst driving on the wet road that is critical).

I had to put my foot down and insisting on putting the new tyres at the back.

Another thing to note is always if possible change the tyres in pair as if one change only one tyre, the grip will not be balance.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Just for Laughs - from Canada

The Last Post - A remarkable rendition

If you are in the US, or have been on parade there, you would have heard "The Last Post" played dozens, maybe even hundreds of times...

This does sometimes bring a tear to people's eyes!

'The Last Post' is a universal tune among almost all the armed forces of the world, though it may vary among them in its execution.

In this example, the bugle call is played in its entirety, and it is a sad and beautiful thing to hear. The unknown young lady bugler has terrific breath power.

She is accompanied by Andre Riéu and his orchestra.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

The Dance


In a Chinese modern dance competition on TV one very uniquecouple won one of the top prizes. The lady, in her 30's, was a dancer who had trained since she was a little girl. Later in life, she lost her entire right arm in an accident and fell into a state of depression for a few years.

Someone then asked her to coach a Children's dancing group..
From that point on, she realized that she could not forget dancing. She still loved to dance and wanted to dance again.

So, she started to do some of her old routines, but, having lost
her arm, she had also lost her balance.

It took a while before she could even make simple turns and> spins without falling. Then she heard of a man in his 20s who had lost a leg in an accident. He had also fallen into the
usual denial, depression and anger type of emotional roller
coaster. But, she was determined to find him and persuade
him to dance with her..

He had never danced, and to dance
with one leg....are you joking with me? "No way!"

But, she didn't give up, and he reluctantly agreed thinking, "I have nothing else to do anyway." She started to teach him dancing. The two broke up a few times because he had no concept of using muscle, how to control his body, and knew none of the basic things about dancing.

When she became frustrated and lost patience with him, he would walk out. Eventually, they came back together and started training seriously.

They hired a choreographer to design routines for them. She would fly high (held by him) with both arms (a sleeve for an arm) flying in the air. He could bend horizontally supported by one leg with her leaning on him, etc.

In the competition, as you will see, they dance beautifully and they legitimately won the competition.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

AMAZING... Perito Moreno Glacier

This only happens every four years - it is amazing what we can see from our own homes if we are unable to travel.

This would be as exciting to see as Niagra Falls. Enjoy!!

Judy Perito Moreno Glacier in southern Argentina .

This is an every-four-year event that has gone on for centuries. Absolutely amazing!

This clip is of the spectacular South American glacier, The Perito Moreno Glacier, which breaks up every four years...

Like clockwork, give or take a week.

There are photographers from the four corners of the earth that come to Southern Argentina and literally camp out at the glacier site in order to get the actual breakup on film.

The individual who filmed this did a marvelous job. This is Something your children and grandchildren should surely see!

Saturday, June 06, 2009

Jungle Alcohol

This is a video clip from a French documentary about Africa. You may not understand a word, but the video is self-explanatory!

There are these trees that grow in Africa which, once a year, produce very juicy fruits that contain a large percentage of alcohol.

Because there is a shortage of water, as soon as the fruits are ripe, animals come there to help protect themselves from the heat. The fruits ferment and the animals take in alcohol!

What happens next, you can watch for yourselves.

How a Real Man Takes His Underpants Off!

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Baby and Dog!

That's real genuine friendship! Even a dog loves a baby.

You're burning!

Job Interview

That's one way to make sure you get the job.

Japanese Talent Show Winner!

How does she do it?

Impossible Piggy Back-flip!

This Chinese couple is incredible!

Smart Little Girl on Jay Leno Show!

She's only 3 1/2 years old, and she sure is one smart little Yankie!

How to Concentrate During Such an Interview!

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Monday, May 18, 2009

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Lip Balm Test

Oh boy! Hehehe!!!

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Friday, April 24, 2009

Pete the Skating Dog!

This dog knows a few human tricks! Heck, it can even do those tricks most of us can't do. But it can do something all of us can, but not expected from a dog - a High 5!!

Copperfield Cut in Half!

Friday, April 17, 2009

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Saturday, April 04, 2009

Friday, April 03, 2009

Thursday, April 02, 2009

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Monday, March 30, 2009

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Saturday, March 28, 2009

How to Pretend You See Nothing!

Bloody hell! That's how rotten some societies have become.

How Long Can You Hold Your Breath?

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Dr. Lin's Poem - published by the Washington Post

When we were the Sick Man of Asia, we were called The Yellow Peril.
When we are billed to be the next Superpower, we are called The Threat.

When we closed our doors, you smuggled drugs to open markets.
When we embrace Free Trade, you blame us for taking away your jobs.

When we were falling apart, you marched in your troops and wanted your fair share.
When we tried to put the broken pieces back together again, Free Tibet, you screamed, It Was an Invasion!

When we tried Communism, you hated us for being Communist.
When we embrace Capitalism, you hate us for being Capitalist.

When we have a billion people, you said we were destroying the planet.
When we tried limiting our numbers, you said we abused human rights.

When we were poor, you thought we were dogs.
When we loan you cash, you blame us for your national debts.

When we build our industries, you call us Polluters.
When we sell you goods, you blame us for global warming.

When we buy oil, you call it exploitation and genocide.
When you go to war for oil, you call it liberation.

When we were lost in chaos and rampage, you demanded rules of law.
When we uphold law and order against violence, you call it violating human rights.

When we were silent, you said you wanted us to have free speech.
When we are silent no more, you say we are brainwashed-xenophobics.

Why do you hate us so much, we asked.
No, you answered, we don't hate you.

We don't hate you either. But, do you understand us?
Of course we do, you said, we have AFP, CNN and BBC's...

What do you really want from us? Think hard first, then answer...
Because you only get so many chances.

Enough is Enough, Enough Hypocrisy for This One World.
We want One World, One Dream, and Peace on Earth.

This Big Blue Earth is Big Enough for all of Us.

Duo-Liang Lin, Ph. D.
Professor Emeritus of Physics University
at Buffalo State University of New York
Buffalo, New York 14260-1500

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Monday, March 02, 2009

Office Stress

Why an office job is not good for everyone...!!

No Bathing Suits Allowed in the Lobby

This hotel doesn't allow bathing suits in their lobby. So, when told about it, he agrees - no bathing suit!

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Just so funny

UK Immigration Officer: Purpose of visit?

Visitor: I’m here to study law, sir.

Officer: You know, you must have a lot of lawyers in Malaysia .

Visitor: Why do you say that?

Officer: Well, I’ve been here for a good twenty years, and I’d say 80% of Malaysians I see here say they’re here to read law.

Visitor: Oh, really? That’s really something I never knew. Hard to believe in fact.

Officer: Just you watch, then. You just stand here until the next Malaysian comes along, and I’ll bet he’s here to read law.

*Visitor waits for 5 mins, Ah Chong from Malaysia comes to the immigration counter*

Officer: Mr. Ah Chong, purpose of visit?

Ah Chong: Study lorr…

Friday, February 27, 2009

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Correct way to arrest a terrorist

I just love the way the police in Spain deals with this guy!

If this happened in the U.S. ..UK...Aus...NZ... the cops would all be suspended and fired. The terrorist would get a new motorcycle, a $500,000 compensation, an apology from the president, and his family would be brought over from Pakistan, and housed on the north shore.

This incident took place in Spain. Apparently the Spanish police agreed to placate a 'bank hostage' situation by allowing the radical to 'escape' uninhibited.

He was allowed to walk out of the bank in the company of 2 hostages. The police provided him with a motorcycle and free access to the motorcycle.

Then, leaving the hostages behind, he was permitted to ride away down a clear roadway to make his 'escape.'

This whole incident, shown on CBS television, complete with news reporting in English, can be seen on this 55-second video clip. The concluding few seconds of this video shows the result of the Spanish planning.

Watch ......

Monday, February 23, 2009

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Restless in restroom

You may wanna look before you sit.......and I'll bet you view this more than once....enjoy !!!

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Oops! Tracing Mortars!

These terrorists are trying to fire mortars at a US destination, not knowing that there is a technology now called 'mortar tracing' where after 2 or 3 shots a device will trace the origin of the fired mortars and deliver a return shot at the originator.

Watch how the terrorist cameramen saying praises to Allah while their comrade fired the mortars, and then watch what happens after the 3rd shot!

Car For Women

Wouldn't everyone like to have a car like that?

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Saturday, February 07, 2009

The truth about egg yolks

Eat everything in moderation...a balanced diet.

Egg yolks are good for you
The truth about egg yolks

Many people throw away the egg yolk because they think that's where all the nasty fat and cholesterol is'. This is a perfect example of how confused most people are about nutrition.

In a world full of misinformation, somehow most people now mistakenly think that the egg yolk is the worst part of the egg, when in fact, the YOLK IS THE HEALTHIEST PART OF THE EGG!
By throwing out the yolk and only eating egg whites, you're essentially throwing out the most nutrient-dense, antioxidant-rich, vitamin and mineral loaded portion of the egg. The yolks contain so many B-vitamins, trace minerals, vitamin A, folate, choline, lutein, and other powerful nutrients... it's not even worth trying to list them all.

In fact, the egg whites are almost devoid of nutrition compared to the yolk. Even the protein in egg whites isn't as powerful without the yolks to balance out the amino acid profile and make the protein more bio-available. Not to even mention that the egg yolks from free range chickens are loaded with omega-3 fatty acids. Yolks contain more than 90% of the calcium, iron, phosphorus, zinc, thiamin, B6, folate, and B12, and panthothenic acid of the egg. In addition, the yolks contain all of the fat soluble vitamins A, D, E, and K in the egg, as well as all of the essential fatty acids.

And now the common objection I get all the time when I say that the yolks are the most nutritious part of the egg...'But I heard that whole eggs will skyrocket my cholesterol through the roof .' No, this is FALSE!

First of all, when you eat a food that contains a high amount of dietary cholesterol such as eggs, your body down-regulates it's internal production of cholesterol to balance things out. On the other hand, if you don't eat enough cholesterol, your body simply produces more since cholesterol has tons of important functions in the body.

And here's where it gets even more interesting...There are indications that eating whole eggs actually raises your good HDL cholesterol to a higher degree than LDL cholesterol, thereby improving your overall cholesterol ratio and blood chemistry.

And 3rd... high cholesterol is NOT a disease! Heart disease is a disease...but high cholesterol is NOT. You can read the following article about why trying to attack cholesterol is a mistake, and what the REAL deadly risk factors actually are...

So I hope we've established that whole eggs are not some evil food that will wreck your body... instead whole eggs are FAR superior to egg whites.

Also, your normal supermarket eggs coming from mass factory farming just don't compare nutritionally with organic free range eggs from healthy chickens that are allowed to roam freely and eat a more natural diet.

I recently compared eggs I bought at the grocery store with a batch of eggs I got at a farm stand where the chickens were free roaming and healthy. Most people don't realize that there's a major difference because they've never bought real eggs from healthy chickens... The eggs from the grocery store had pale yellow yolks. On the other hand, the healthier free range eggs had deep orange colored yolks indicating much higher nutrition levels and carotenoids.

So next time a health or fitness professional tells you that egg whites are superior, you can quietly ignore their advice knowing that you understand the REAL deal about egg yolks.
One more thing about eggs... I read a study recently that compared groups of people that ate egg breakfasts vs groups of people that ate cereal or bagel based breakfasts. The results of the study showed that the egg eaters lost or maintained a healthier bodyweight, while the cereal/bagel eaters gained weight.

It was hypothesized that the egg eaters actually ate less calories during the remainder of the day because their appetite was more satisfied compared to the cereal/bagel eaters who would have been more prone to wild blood sugar swings and food cravings.

George Carlin's Views on Ageing

George Carlin's Views on Ageing

Do you realise that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about ageing that you think in fractions.

'How old are you?' 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key

You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.

'How old are you?' 'I'm gonna be 16!' You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life .... . You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony. YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.

But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.

You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30 ; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there Into the 90s, you start going backwards; 'I Was JUST 92.'

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. 'I'm 100 and a half!' May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!


1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay 'them'

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. 'An idle mind is the MARA's workshop.' And the mara's name is Alzheimer's.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love , whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER : Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Message from an 'OLD' friend

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life,my loving family for less grey hair or a flatter belly.

As I've aged, I've become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself.

I've become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra curry,or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly thing that I didn't need,but looks so avante garde on my patio.

I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.

I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon;before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computeruntil 4 AM and sleep until noon?

I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60 &70's,and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ... I will.

I will walk or run around in a bulging body if I choose to,despite the pitying glances from the jet set.They, too, will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful.But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten.And I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken.How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one,or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car?

But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning grey, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face.So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore.I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day (if I feel like it).




Warren Buffet's Advice for 2009

Warren Buffet is the world's most successful investor, and his advice for 2009 is as follows:

We begin this New Year with dampened enthusiasm and dented optimism.

Our happiness is diluted and our peace is threatened by the financial
illness that has infected our families, organisations and nations.

Everyone is desperate to find a remedy that will cure their financial illness
and help them recover their financial health.
They expect the financial experts to provide them with remedies,
forgetting the fact that it is these experts who created this financial mess.

Every new year, I adopt a couple of old maxims as my beacons to guide my future.
This self-prescribed therapy has ensured that with each
passing year, I grow wiser and not older.

This year, I invite you to tap into the financial wisdom of
our elders along with me, and become financially wiser.

· Hard work: All hard work brings profit; but mere talk leads only To poverty.

· Laziness: A lazy lobster is carried away by the water current.

· Earnings: Never depend on a single source of income.

· Spending: If you buy things you don't need, you'll soon sell things you need.

· Savings: Don't save what is left after spending; Spend what is left after saving.

· Borrowings: The borrower becomes the lender's slave.

· Accounting: It's no use carrying an umbrella, if your shoes are leaking.

· Auditing: Beware of little expenses; a small leak can sink a large ship.

· Risk-taking: Never test the depth of the river with both feet.

· Investment: Don't put all your eggs in one basket.

I'm certain that those who have already been practicing these Principles remain financially healthy.

I'm equally confident that those who resolve to start practicing these principles will quickly regain their financial health.

Let us become wiser and lead a happy, healthy, prosperous and Peaceful life.

Warren Buffet

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

US Airforce at work...No Place To Hide!

Quick WipeOut: US Air Force at work ... No place to hide! In just 10 seconds!

This is a video taken inside the cockpit of an A-10 "Wart Hog" by the pilot and it was a night view.

What you see is from 9700 feet away, (almost two miles). The four terrorists had no clue there was someone watching them from almost 2 miles away. The A-10 was using a 30 MM cannon WITHOUT injuring the dog nearby who escaped unharmed.

You can see the aircraft (FLIR --forward looking infra red ---screen) shake a bit as the pilot fires; then count about 4 seconds for the round to travel 2 miles.

Every tenth round is a "tracer", so the bullets you actually see are every tenth round; they are getting hit with hundreds of rounds, but the dog is unscathed. Muzzle velocity on the 30 MM is 2,430 feet per second.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Current Banking Crises Explained

Young Chuck moved to Texas and bought a donkey from a farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.

The next day he drove up and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died.'

Chuck replied, 'Well, then just give me my money back.'

The farmer said, 'Can't do that. I went and spent it already.'

Chuck said, 'OK, then, just bring me the dead donkey.'

The farmer asked, 'What ya gonna do with him?

Chuck said, 'I'm going to raffle him off.'

The farmer said 'You can't raffle off a dead donkey!'

Chuck said, 'Sure I can Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead.'

A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, 'What happened with that dead donkey?'

Chuck said, 'I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars apiece and made a profit of $898.00.'

The farmer said, 'Didn't anyone complain?'

Chuck said, 'Just the guy who won. So I gave him back his two dollars.'

Chuck now works for Goldman Sachs.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Rockatoo, a Cockatoo doing Rock & Roll!

Rockatoo! Fantastic and funny video of a cockatoo rocking and rolling to music, and even acknowledged the applause at the end!

Enjoy, please!

Friday, January 16, 2009

Why America is in Trouble

You know, these are damm funny, BUT, when you stop & think about it, its really sad & scary because these are the people that make the laws in the United States, the most powerful Country in the world!


A Washington, DC airport ticket agent offers some examples of why America is in trouble:

1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window (On an airplane!?).

2. I got a call from a candidate's staffer who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information. Then she interrupted me with, 'I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts.' Without trying to make her look stupid, I calmly explained, Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa. Her response, click.

3. A senior Vermont Congressman called furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean view room. I tried to explain that's not possible, because Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't get smart with me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very narrow state!" (Oh, my God!).

4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, 'Is it possible to see England from Canada?' I said, No. She then said, "But they look so close on the map".

5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he only had a one-hour layover in Dallas. I asked him why he wanted to rent a car. He replied, 'I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time (Aghhhh!).

6. An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 AM and got to Chicago at 8:33 AM. I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones.. Finally, I told her the plane went really fast and she accepted that.

7. A New York lawmaker called and asked, 'Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?' I said, 'No. Why do you ask?' She replied, 'Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said FAT and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude.' After putting her on hold for a minute while I looked into it –I was laughing-- I came back and explained that the code for the Fresno, CA airport is 'FAT', Fresno Air Terminal, and the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.

8. A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, Would it be cheaper to fly to California, and then take the train to Hawaii?

9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked, How do I know which plane to get on?' I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, 'I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.

10.. A lady Senator called and said, 'I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, Florida.. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?' I asked if she meant she was flying to Pensacola, FL on a commuter plane. She said, 'Yeah, whatever, smarty!

11. A senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him that he also needed a visa. 'Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and Ihave never had to have one of those.' I double checked, and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, 'Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!

12. A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make reservations. 'I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York.' I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, 'Are you sure that's the name of the town?' 'Yes. What flights do you have?' replied the lady. After some searching, I came back with, 'I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Rhino anywhere.' The lady retorted, 'Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!' So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, 'You don't mean Buffalo, do you?' The reply? 'Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.'

Now you know why the Government is in the shape it's in AND who is causing it!!

Sunday, January 11, 2009

21 Pieces of Advice...

... your mum should have told you if she hasn't

There’s some life advice you’ll only ever learn from your mum, bless her! But we’re not always listening when she shared it. Here’s a quick refresher…

1. Got the hiccups? A spoonful of peanut butter will stop them in their tracks.

2. Avoid chipped nail polish by dipping your nails in cold water when you’ve finished painting them.

3. Pouring white wine over a red wine stain will save your clothes from a messy death. We’re serious! Rinse the white wine out then machine wash as normal.

4. If you sit in gum, pop your pants in the freezer for a few days. This freezes the chewy solid and it should peel off easily.

5. Chill your used tea bags and use them to get rid of eye puffiness.

6. Leftover takeaway does not improve with age. Store your Chinese/Thai/Indian leftovers in a glass or porcelain dish (seal with cling wrap) and eat within 24 hours.

7. At a barbecue, put some freshly chopped mint in a vase to keep the flies and mozzies away. They hate the smell.

8. For brighter clothes, add about 1/3 cup of white vinegar to the rinse cycle when washing.

9. Keep two chopping boards in your kitchen (one for meat, one for vegies) and as they become overscored (with cutting marks), replace them. Bacteria breeds inside the scores.

10. Stop your mirrors from fogging up by applying a thin film of shaving cream or liquid soap. Use a lint free cloth too.

11. Stop your potatoes from sprouting green shoots by storing them with an apple.

12. Got ants? Find out where they’re coming from, then sprinkle a trail of sage, cinnamon or pepper around these areas.

13. Constantly talking on the phone will clog your pores.

14. Possums on the roof driving you nuts? Mix a little olive oil and chilli powder and sprinkle it around the gutters. They’ll soon vacate the premises.

15. Seal bananas in a brown paper bag if you want to speed up the ripening process.

16. Onions won’t make you cry if you store them in the fridge and peel them under cold running water.

17. If you spill wax on the carpet, place a piece of brown paper on it and iron lightly on low heat. The wax will stick to the paper.

18. Microwave lemons for 30 seconds before squeezing to get more juice out of them.

19. Clean up rusty pots and pans by rubbing half a potato dipped in baking soda over their wet surfaces.

20. The key to cooking the perfect steak is to only turn it once.

21. Your candles will burn a lot longer if stored in the fridge until just before use.

Friday, January 09, 2009