UK Immigration Officer: Purpose of visit?
Visitor: I’m here to study law, sir.
Officer: You know, you must have a lot of lawyers in Malaysia .
Visitor: Why do you say that?
Officer: Well, I’ve been here for a good twenty years, and I’d say 80% of Malaysians I see here say they’re here to read law.
Visitor: Oh, really? That’s really something I never knew. Hard to believe in fact.
Officer: Just you watch, then. You just stand here until the next Malaysian comes along, and I’ll bet he’s here to read law.
*Visitor waits for 5 mins, Ah Chong from Malaysia comes to the immigration counter*
Officer: Mr. Ah Chong, purpose of visit?
Ah Chong: Study lorr…
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Friday, February 27, 2009
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Correct way to arrest a terrorist
I just love the way the police in Spain deals with this guy!
If this happened in the U.S. ..UK...Aus...NZ... the cops would all be suspended and fired. The terrorist would get a new motorcycle, a $500,000 compensation, an apology from the president, and his family would be brought over from Pakistan, and housed on the north shore.
This incident took place in Spain. Apparently the Spanish police agreed to placate a 'bank hostage' situation by allowing the radical to 'escape' uninhibited.
He was allowed to walk out of the bank in the company of 2 hostages. The police provided him with a motorcycle and free access to the motorcycle.
Then, leaving the hostages behind, he was permitted to ride away down a clear roadway to make his 'escape.'
This whole incident, shown on CBS television, complete with news reporting in English, can be seen on this 55-second video clip. The concluding few seconds of this video shows the result of the Spanish planning.
Watch ......
If this happened in the U.S. ..UK...Aus...NZ... the cops would all be suspended and fired. The terrorist would get a new motorcycle, a $500,000 compensation, an apology from the president, and his family would be brought over from Pakistan, and housed on the north shore.
This incident took place in Spain. Apparently the Spanish police agreed to placate a 'bank hostage' situation by allowing the radical to 'escape' uninhibited.
He was allowed to walk out of the bank in the company of 2 hostages. The police provided him with a motorcycle and free access to the motorcycle.
Then, leaving the hostages behind, he was permitted to ride away down a clear roadway to make his 'escape.'
This whole incident, shown on CBS television, complete with news reporting in English, can be seen on this 55-second video clip. The concluding few seconds of this video shows the result of the Spanish planning.
Watch ......
Monday, February 23, 2009
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Restless in restroom
You may wanna look before you sit.......and I'll bet you view this more than once....enjoy !!!
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Oops! Tracing Mortars!
These terrorists are trying to fire mortars at a US destination, not knowing that there is a technology now called 'mortar tracing' where after 2 or 3 shots a device will trace the origin of the fired mortars and deliver a return shot at the originator.
Watch how the terrorist cameramen saying praises to Allah while their comrade fired the mortars, and then watch what happens after the 3rd shot!
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Saturday, February 07, 2009
The truth about egg yolks
Eat everything in moderation...a balanced diet.
Egg yolks are good for you
The truth about egg yolks
Many people throw away the egg yolk because they think that's where all the nasty fat and cholesterol is'. This is a perfect example of how confused most people are about nutrition.
In a world full of misinformation, somehow most people now mistakenly think that the egg yolk is the worst part of the egg, when in fact, the YOLK IS THE HEALTHIEST PART OF THE EGG!
By throwing out the yolk and only eating egg whites, you're essentially throwing out the most nutrient-dense, antioxidant-rich, vitamin and mineral loaded portion of the egg. The yolks contain so many B-vitamins, trace minerals, vitamin A, folate, choline, lutein, and other powerful nutrients... it's not even worth trying to list them all.
In fact, the egg whites are almost devoid of nutrition compared to the yolk. Even the protein in egg whites isn't as powerful without the yolks to balance out the amino acid profile and make the protein more bio-available. Not to even mention that the egg yolks from free range chickens are loaded with omega-3 fatty acids. Yolks contain more than 90% of the calcium, iron, phosphorus, zinc, thiamin, B6, folate, and B12, and panthothenic acid of the egg. In addition, the yolks contain all of the fat soluble vitamins A, D, E, and K in the egg, as well as all of the essential fatty acids.
And now the common objection I get all the time when I say that the yolks are the most nutritious part of the egg...'But I heard that whole eggs will skyrocket my cholesterol through the roof .' No, this is FALSE!
First of all, when you eat a food that contains a high amount of dietary cholesterol such as eggs, your body down-regulates it's internal production of cholesterol to balance things out. On the other hand, if you don't eat enough cholesterol, your body simply produces more since cholesterol has tons of important functions in the body.
And here's where it gets even more interesting...There are indications that eating whole eggs actually raises your good HDL cholesterol to a higher degree than LDL cholesterol, thereby improving your overall cholesterol ratio and blood chemistry.
And 3rd... high cholesterol is NOT a disease! Heart disease is a disease...but high cholesterol is NOT. You can read the following article about why trying to attack cholesterol is a mistake, and what the REAL deadly risk factors actually are...
http://www.truthaboutabs.com/cholesterol-myths.html
So I hope we've established that whole eggs are not some evil food that will wreck your body... instead whole eggs are FAR superior to egg whites.
Also, your normal supermarket eggs coming from mass factory farming just don't compare nutritionally with organic free range eggs from healthy chickens that are allowed to roam freely and eat a more natural diet.
I recently compared eggs I bought at the grocery store with a batch of eggs I got at a farm stand where the chickens were free roaming and healthy. Most people don't realize that there's a major difference because they've never bought real eggs from healthy chickens... The eggs from the grocery store had pale yellow yolks. On the other hand, the healthier free range eggs had deep orange colored yolks indicating much higher nutrition levels and carotenoids.
So next time a health or fitness professional tells you that egg whites are superior, you can quietly ignore their advice knowing that you understand the REAL deal about egg yolks.
One more thing about eggs... I read a study recently that compared groups of people that ate egg breakfasts vs groups of people that ate cereal or bagel based breakfasts. The results of the study showed that the egg eaters lost or maintained a healthier bodyweight, while the cereal/bagel eaters gained weight.
It was hypothesized that the egg eaters actually ate less calories during the remainder of the day because their appetite was more satisfied compared to the cereal/bagel eaters who would have been more prone to wild blood sugar swings and food cravings.
Egg yolks are good for you
The truth about egg yolks
Many people throw away the egg yolk because they think that's where all the nasty fat and cholesterol is'. This is a perfect example of how confused most people are about nutrition.
In a world full of misinformation, somehow most people now mistakenly think that the egg yolk is the worst part of the egg, when in fact, the YOLK IS THE HEALTHIEST PART OF THE EGG!
By throwing out the yolk and only eating egg whites, you're essentially throwing out the most nutrient-dense, antioxidant-rich, vitamin and mineral loaded portion of the egg. The yolks contain so many B-vitamins, trace minerals, vitamin A, folate, choline, lutein, and other powerful nutrients... it's not even worth trying to list them all.
In fact, the egg whites are almost devoid of nutrition compared to the yolk. Even the protein in egg whites isn't as powerful without the yolks to balance out the amino acid profile and make the protein more bio-available. Not to even mention that the egg yolks from free range chickens are loaded with omega-3 fatty acids. Yolks contain more than 90% of the calcium, iron, phosphorus, zinc, thiamin, B6, folate, and B12, and panthothenic acid of the egg. In addition, the yolks contain all of the fat soluble vitamins A, D, E, and K in the egg, as well as all of the essential fatty acids.
And now the common objection I get all the time when I say that the yolks are the most nutritious part of the egg...'But I heard that whole eggs will skyrocket my cholesterol through the roof .' No, this is FALSE!
First of all, when you eat a food that contains a high amount of dietary cholesterol such as eggs, your body down-regulates it's internal production of cholesterol to balance things out. On the other hand, if you don't eat enough cholesterol, your body simply produces more since cholesterol has tons of important functions in the body.
And here's where it gets even more interesting...There are indications that eating whole eggs actually raises your good HDL cholesterol to a higher degree than LDL cholesterol, thereby improving your overall cholesterol ratio and blood chemistry.
And 3rd... high cholesterol is NOT a disease! Heart disease is a disease...but high cholesterol is NOT. You can read the following article about why trying to attack cholesterol is a mistake, and what the REAL deadly risk factors actually are...
http://www.truthaboutabs.com/cholesterol-myths.html
So I hope we've established that whole eggs are not some evil food that will wreck your body... instead whole eggs are FAR superior to egg whites.
Also, your normal supermarket eggs coming from mass factory farming just don't compare nutritionally with organic free range eggs from healthy chickens that are allowed to roam freely and eat a more natural diet.
I recently compared eggs I bought at the grocery store with a batch of eggs I got at a farm stand where the chickens were free roaming and healthy. Most people don't realize that there's a major difference because they've never bought real eggs from healthy chickens... The eggs from the grocery store had pale yellow yolks. On the other hand, the healthier free range eggs had deep orange colored yolks indicating much higher nutrition levels and carotenoids.
So next time a health or fitness professional tells you that egg whites are superior, you can quietly ignore their advice knowing that you understand the REAL deal about egg yolks.
One more thing about eggs... I read a study recently that compared groups of people that ate egg breakfasts vs groups of people that ate cereal or bagel based breakfasts. The results of the study showed that the egg eaters lost or maintained a healthier bodyweight, while the cereal/bagel eaters gained weight.
It was hypothesized that the egg eaters actually ate less calories during the remainder of the day because their appetite was more satisfied compared to the cereal/bagel eaters who would have been more prone to wild blood sugar swings and food cravings.
George Carlin's Views on Ageing
George Carlin's Views on Ageing
Do you realise that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about ageing that you think in fractions.
'How old are you?' 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key
You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
'How old are you?' 'I'm gonna be 16!' You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life .... . You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony. YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.
But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!
So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30 ; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there Into the 90s, you start going backwards; 'I Was JUST 92.'
Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. 'I'm 100 and a half!' May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay 'them'
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. 'An idle mind is the MARA's workshop.' And the mara's name is Alzheimer's.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love , whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER : Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
Do you realise that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about ageing that you think in fractions.
'How old are you?' 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key
You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
'How old are you?' 'I'm gonna be 16!' You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life .... . You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony. YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.
But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!
So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30 ; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there Into the 90s, you start going backwards; 'I Was JUST 92.'
Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. 'I'm 100 and a half!' May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay 'them'
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. 'An idle mind is the MARA's workshop.' And the mara's name is Alzheimer's.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love , whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER : Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
Message from an 'OLD' friend
I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life,my loving family for less grey hair or a flatter belly.
As I've aged, I've become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself.
I've become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra curry,or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly thing that I didn't need,but looks so avante garde on my patio.
I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.
I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon;before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.
Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computeruntil 4 AM and sleep until noon?
I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60 &70's,and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ... I will.
I will walk or run around in a bulging body if I choose to,despite the pitying glances from the jet set.They, too, will get old.
I know I am sometimes forgetful.But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten.And I eventually remember the important things.
Sure, over the years my heart has been broken.How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one,or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car?
But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.
I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning grey, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face.So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.
As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore.I've even earned the right to be wrong.
So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day (if I feel like it).
MAY OUR FRIENDSHIP NEVER COME APART ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S STRAIGHT FROM THE HEART!
MAY YOU ALWAYS HAVE A RAINBOW OF SMILES ON YOUR FACE AND IN YOUR HEART FOREVER AND EVER!
FRIENDS FOREVER!
As I've aged, I've become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself.
I've become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra curry,or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly thing that I didn't need,but looks so avante garde on my patio.
I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.
I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon;before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.
Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computeruntil 4 AM and sleep until noon?
I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60 &70's,and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ... I will.
I will walk or run around in a bulging body if I choose to,despite the pitying glances from the jet set.They, too, will get old.
I know I am sometimes forgetful.But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten.And I eventually remember the important things.
Sure, over the years my heart has been broken.How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one,or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car?
But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.
I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning grey, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face.So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.
As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore.I've even earned the right to be wrong.
So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day (if I feel like it).
MAY OUR FRIENDSHIP NEVER COME APART ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S STRAIGHT FROM THE HEART!
MAY YOU ALWAYS HAVE A RAINBOW OF SMILES ON YOUR FACE AND IN YOUR HEART FOREVER AND EVER!
FRIENDS FOREVER!
Warren Buffet's Advice for 2009
Warren Buffet is the world's most successful investor, and his advice for 2009 is as follows:
We begin this New Year with dampened enthusiasm and dented optimism.
Our happiness is diluted and our peace is threatened by the financial
illness that has infected our families, organisations and nations.
Everyone is desperate to find a remedy that will cure their financial illness
and help them recover their financial health.
They expect the financial experts to provide them with remedies,
forgetting the fact that it is these experts who created this financial mess.
Every new year, I adopt a couple of old maxims as my beacons to guide my future.
This self-prescribed therapy has ensured that with each
passing year, I grow wiser and not older.
This year, I invite you to tap into the financial wisdom of
our elders along with me, and become financially wiser.
· Hard work: All hard work brings profit; but mere talk leads only To poverty.
· Laziness: A lazy lobster is carried away by the water current.
· Earnings: Never depend on a single source of income.
· Spending: If you buy things you don't need, you'll soon sell things you need.
· Savings: Don't save what is left after spending; Spend what is left after saving.
· Borrowings: The borrower becomes the lender's slave.
· Accounting: It's no use carrying an umbrella, if your shoes are leaking.
· Auditing: Beware of little expenses; a small leak can sink a large ship.
· Risk-taking: Never test the depth of the river with both feet.
· Investment: Don't put all your eggs in one basket.
I'm certain that those who have already been practicing these Principles remain financially healthy.
I'm equally confident that those who resolve to start practicing these principles will quickly regain their financial health.
Let us become wiser and lead a happy, healthy, prosperous and Peaceful life.
Warren Buffet
We begin this New Year with dampened enthusiasm and dented optimism.
Our happiness is diluted and our peace is threatened by the financial
illness that has infected our families, organisations and nations.
Everyone is desperate to find a remedy that will cure their financial illness
and help them recover their financial health.
They expect the financial experts to provide them with remedies,
forgetting the fact that it is these experts who created this financial mess.
Every new year, I adopt a couple of old maxims as my beacons to guide my future.
This self-prescribed therapy has ensured that with each
passing year, I grow wiser and not older.
This year, I invite you to tap into the financial wisdom of
our elders along with me, and become financially wiser.
· Hard work: All hard work brings profit; but mere talk leads only To poverty.
· Laziness: A lazy lobster is carried away by the water current.
· Earnings: Never depend on a single source of income.
· Spending: If you buy things you don't need, you'll soon sell things you need.
· Savings: Don't save what is left after spending; Spend what is left after saving.
· Borrowings: The borrower becomes the lender's slave.
· Accounting: It's no use carrying an umbrella, if your shoes are leaking.
· Auditing: Beware of little expenses; a small leak can sink a large ship.
· Risk-taking: Never test the depth of the river with both feet.
· Investment: Don't put all your eggs in one basket.
I'm certain that those who have already been practicing these Principles remain financially healthy.
I'm equally confident that those who resolve to start practicing these principles will quickly regain their financial health.
Let us become wiser and lead a happy, healthy, prosperous and Peaceful life.
Warren Buffet
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
US Airforce at work...No Place To Hide!
Quick WipeOut: US Air Force at work ... No place to hide! In just 10 seconds!
This is a video taken inside the cockpit of an A-10 "Wart Hog" by the pilot and it was a night view.
What you see is from 9700 feet away, (almost two miles). The four terrorists had no clue there was someone watching them from almost 2 miles away. The A-10 was using a 30 MM cannon WITHOUT injuring the dog nearby who escaped unharmed.
You can see the aircraft (FLIR --forward looking infra red ---screen) shake a bit as the pilot fires; then count about 4 seconds for the round to travel 2 miles.
Every tenth round is a "tracer", so the bullets you actually see are every tenth round; they are getting hit with hundreds of rounds, but the dog is unscathed. Muzzle velocity on the 30 MM is 2,430 feet per second.
This is a video taken inside the cockpit of an A-10 "Wart Hog" by the pilot and it was a night view.
What you see is from 9700 feet away, (almost two miles). The four terrorists had no clue there was someone watching them from almost 2 miles away. The A-10 was using a 30 MM cannon WITHOUT injuring the dog nearby who escaped unharmed.
You can see the aircraft (FLIR --forward looking infra red ---screen) shake a bit as the pilot fires; then count about 4 seconds for the round to travel 2 miles.
Every tenth round is a "tracer", so the bullets you actually see are every tenth round; they are getting hit with hundreds of rounds, but the dog is unscathed. Muzzle velocity on the 30 MM is 2,430 feet per second.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Current Banking Crises Explained
Young Chuck moved to Texas and bought a donkey from a farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.
The next day he drove up and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died.'
Chuck replied, 'Well, then just give me my money back.'
The farmer said, 'Can't do that. I went and spent it already.'
Chuck said, 'OK, then, just bring me the dead donkey.'
The farmer asked, 'What ya gonna do with him?
Chuck said, 'I'm going to raffle him off.'
The farmer said 'You can't raffle off a dead donkey!'
Chuck said, 'Sure I can Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead.'
A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, 'What happened with that dead donkey?'
Chuck said, 'I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars apiece and made a profit of $898.00.'
The farmer said, 'Didn't anyone complain?'
Chuck said, 'Just the guy who won. So I gave him back his two dollars.'
Chuck now works for Goldman Sachs.
The next day he drove up and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died.'
Chuck replied, 'Well, then just give me my money back.'
The farmer said, 'Can't do that. I went and spent it already.'
Chuck said, 'OK, then, just bring me the dead donkey.'
The farmer asked, 'What ya gonna do with him?
Chuck said, 'I'm going to raffle him off.'
The farmer said 'You can't raffle off a dead donkey!'
Chuck said, 'Sure I can Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead.'
A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, 'What happened with that dead donkey?'
Chuck said, 'I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars apiece and made a profit of $898.00.'
The farmer said, 'Didn't anyone complain?'
Chuck said, 'Just the guy who won. So I gave him back his two dollars.'
Chuck now works for Goldman Sachs.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Rockatoo, a Cockatoo doing Rock & Roll!
Rockatoo! Fantastic and funny video of a cockatoo rocking and rolling to music, and even acknowledged the applause at the end!
Enjoy, please!
Enjoy, please!
Friday, January 16, 2009
Why America is in Trouble
You know, these are damm funny, BUT, when you stop & think about it, its really sad & scary because these are the people that make the laws in the United States, the most powerful Country in the world!
WHY AMERICA IS IN TROUBLE
A Washington, DC airport ticket agent offers some examples of why America is in trouble:
1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window (On an airplane!?).
2. I got a call from a candidate's staffer who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information. Then she interrupted me with, 'I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts.' Without trying to make her look stupid, I calmly explained, Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa. Her response, click.
3. A senior Vermont Congressman called furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean view room. I tried to explain that's not possible, because Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't get smart with me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very narrow state!" (Oh, my God!).
4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, 'Is it possible to see England from Canada?' I said, No. She then said, "But they look so close on the map".
5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he only had a one-hour layover in Dallas. I asked him why he wanted to rent a car. He replied, 'I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time (Aghhhh!).
6. An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 AM and got to Chicago at 8:33 AM. I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones.. Finally, I told her the plane went really fast and she accepted that.
7. A New York lawmaker called and asked, 'Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?' I said, 'No. Why do you ask?' She replied, 'Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said FAT and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude.' After putting her on hold for a minute while I looked into it –I was laughing-- I came back and explained that the code for the Fresno, CA airport is 'FAT', Fresno Air Terminal, and the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.
8. A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, Would it be cheaper to fly to California, and then take the train to Hawaii?
9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked, How do I know which plane to get on?' I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, 'I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.
10.. A lady Senator called and said, 'I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, Florida.. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?' I asked if she meant she was flying to Pensacola, FL on a commuter plane. She said, 'Yeah, whatever, smarty!
11. A senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him that he also needed a visa. 'Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and Ihave never had to have one of those.' I double checked, and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, 'Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!
12. A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make reservations. 'I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York.' I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, 'Are you sure that's the name of the town?' 'Yes. What flights do you have?' replied the lady. After some searching, I came back with, 'I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Rhino anywhere.' The lady retorted, 'Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!' So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, 'You don't mean Buffalo, do you?' The reply? 'Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.'
Now you know why the Government is in the shape it's in AND who is causing it!!
WHY AMERICA IS IN TROUBLE
A Washington, DC airport ticket agent offers some examples of why America is in trouble:
1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window (On an airplane!?).
2. I got a call from a candidate's staffer who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information. Then she interrupted me with, 'I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts.' Without trying to make her look stupid, I calmly explained, Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa. Her response, click.
3. A senior Vermont Congressman called furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean view room. I tried to explain that's not possible, because Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't get smart with me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very narrow state!" (Oh, my God!).
4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, 'Is it possible to see England from Canada?' I said, No. She then said, "But they look so close on the map".
5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he only had a one-hour layover in Dallas. I asked him why he wanted to rent a car. He replied, 'I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time (Aghhhh!).
6. An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 AM and got to Chicago at 8:33 AM. I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones.. Finally, I told her the plane went really fast and she accepted that.
7. A New York lawmaker called and asked, 'Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?' I said, 'No. Why do you ask?' She replied, 'Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said FAT and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude.' After putting her on hold for a minute while I looked into it –I was laughing-- I came back and explained that the code for the Fresno, CA airport is 'FAT', Fresno Air Terminal, and the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.
8. A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, Would it be cheaper to fly to California, and then take the train to Hawaii?
9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked, How do I know which plane to get on?' I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, 'I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.
10.. A lady Senator called and said, 'I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, Florida.. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?' I asked if she meant she was flying to Pensacola, FL on a commuter plane. She said, 'Yeah, whatever, smarty!
11. A senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him that he also needed a visa. 'Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and Ihave never had to have one of those.' I double checked, and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, 'Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!
12. A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make reservations. 'I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York.' I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, 'Are you sure that's the name of the town?' 'Yes. What flights do you have?' replied the lady. After some searching, I came back with, 'I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Rhino anywhere.' The lady retorted, 'Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!' So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, 'You don't mean Buffalo, do you?' The reply? 'Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.'
Now you know why the Government is in the shape it's in AND who is causing it!!
Sunday, January 11, 2009
21 Pieces of Advice...
... your mum should have told you if she hasn't
There’s some life advice you’ll only ever learn from your mum, bless her! But we’re not always listening when she shared it. Here’s a quick refresher…
1. Got the hiccups? A spoonful of peanut butter will stop them in their tracks.
2. Avoid chipped nail polish by dipping your nails in cold water when you’ve finished painting them.
3. Pouring white wine over a red wine stain will save your clothes from a messy death. We’re serious! Rinse the white wine out then machine wash as normal.
4. If you sit in gum, pop your pants in the freezer for a few days. This freezes the chewy solid and it should peel off easily.
5. Chill your used tea bags and use them to get rid of eye puffiness.
6. Leftover takeaway does not improve with age. Store your Chinese/Thai/Indian leftovers in a glass or porcelain dish (seal with cling wrap) and eat within 24 hours.
7. At a barbecue, put some freshly chopped mint in a vase to keep the flies and mozzies away. They hate the smell.
8. For brighter clothes, add about 1/3 cup of white vinegar to the rinse cycle when washing.
9. Keep two chopping boards in your kitchen (one for meat, one for vegies) and as they become overscored (with cutting marks), replace them. Bacteria breeds inside the scores.
10. Stop your mirrors from fogging up by applying a thin film of shaving cream or liquid soap. Use a lint free cloth too.
11. Stop your potatoes from sprouting green shoots by storing them with an apple.
12. Got ants? Find out where they’re coming from, then sprinkle a trail of sage, cinnamon or pepper around these areas.
13. Constantly talking on the phone will clog your pores.
14. Possums on the roof driving you nuts? Mix a little olive oil and chilli powder and sprinkle it around the gutters. They’ll soon vacate the premises.
15. Seal bananas in a brown paper bag if you want to speed up the ripening process.
16. Onions won’t make you cry if you store them in the fridge and peel them under cold running water.
17. If you spill wax on the carpet, place a piece of brown paper on it and iron lightly on low heat. The wax will stick to the paper.
18. Microwave lemons for 30 seconds before squeezing to get more juice out of them.
19. Clean up rusty pots and pans by rubbing half a potato dipped in baking soda over their wet surfaces.
20. The key to cooking the perfect steak is to only turn it once.
21. Your candles will burn a lot longer if stored in the fridge until just before use.
There’s some life advice you’ll only ever learn from your mum, bless her! But we’re not always listening when she shared it. Here’s a quick refresher…
1. Got the hiccups? A spoonful of peanut butter will stop them in their tracks.
2. Avoid chipped nail polish by dipping your nails in cold water when you’ve finished painting them.
3. Pouring white wine over a red wine stain will save your clothes from a messy death. We’re serious! Rinse the white wine out then machine wash as normal.
4. If you sit in gum, pop your pants in the freezer for a few days. This freezes the chewy solid and it should peel off easily.
5. Chill your used tea bags and use them to get rid of eye puffiness.
6. Leftover takeaway does not improve with age. Store your Chinese/Thai/Indian leftovers in a glass or porcelain dish (seal with cling wrap) and eat within 24 hours.
7. At a barbecue, put some freshly chopped mint in a vase to keep the flies and mozzies away. They hate the smell.
8. For brighter clothes, add about 1/3 cup of white vinegar to the rinse cycle when washing.
9. Keep two chopping boards in your kitchen (one for meat, one for vegies) and as they become overscored (with cutting marks), replace them. Bacteria breeds inside the scores.
10. Stop your mirrors from fogging up by applying a thin film of shaving cream or liquid soap. Use a lint free cloth too.
11. Stop your potatoes from sprouting green shoots by storing them with an apple.
12. Got ants? Find out where they’re coming from, then sprinkle a trail of sage, cinnamon or pepper around these areas.
13. Constantly talking on the phone will clog your pores.
14. Possums on the roof driving you nuts? Mix a little olive oil and chilli powder and sprinkle it around the gutters. They’ll soon vacate the premises.
15. Seal bananas in a brown paper bag if you want to speed up the ripening process.
16. Onions won’t make you cry if you store them in the fridge and peel them under cold running water.
17. If you spill wax on the carpet, place a piece of brown paper on it and iron lightly on low heat. The wax will stick to the paper.
18. Microwave lemons for 30 seconds before squeezing to get more juice out of them.
19. Clean up rusty pots and pans by rubbing half a potato dipped in baking soda over their wet surfaces.
20. The key to cooking the perfect steak is to only turn it once.
21. Your candles will burn a lot longer if stored in the fridge until just before use.
Friday, January 09, 2009
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
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