Sunday, March 07, 2010
Wednesday, March 03, 2010
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Seven Reasons Not To Mess With Children
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, ‘When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah.’
The teacher asked, ‘What if Jonah went to hell?’
The little girl replied, ‘Then you ask him.’
2. A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, ‘I’m drawing God.’
The teacher paused and said, ‘But no one knows what God looks like.’
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, ‘They will in a minute.’
3. A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to ‘honour’ thy father and thy mother, she asked, ‘Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?’
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, ‘Thou shall not kill.’
4. One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, ‘Why are some of your hairs white, Mum?’
Her mother replied, ‘Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.’
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, ‘Mummy, how come ALL of Grandma’s hairs are white?’
5. The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
‘Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer, she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, He’s a doctor.’
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, ‘And there’s the teacher, she’s dead.’
6. A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, ‘Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.’
‘Yes,’ the class said.
‘Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn’t run into my feet?’
A little fellow shouted, ‘Cause your feet ain’t empty.’
7. The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.
The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: ‘Take only ONE… God is watching.’
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, ‘Take all you want. God is watching the apples.’
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Age
My name is Alice Smith and I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his diploma, which had his full name.
Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 30-odd years ago. Could he be the same guy that i had a secret crush on, way back then?
Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate.
After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Morgan Park High school.
'Yes. Yes, I did.' he gleamed with pride.
'When did you graduate?' I asked.
He answered, 'In 1967. Why do you ask?'
'You were in my class!' I exclaimed.
He looked at me closely. Then, that ugly, old, bald, wrinkled, fat, gray-haired man asked, 'What did you teach?'
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Australian Lawyers Education
goes off to study Law at university. Not half
way through the semester he has blown all of
his money on the high city life.
He calls home. 'Dad, you won't believe what
modern education is developing. They actually
have a program here at the Uni that will
teach a dog how to talk.'
'Bloody amazing!' his Dad says. 'Could we get
Ol' Blue into the program?'
'No worries, just send him down here with
$2,000,' the young jackaroo says, 'I'll get
him into the course.'
So father sends down the dog and $2,000.
About two-thirds through the semester, the
money again runs out. The boy calls home. 'So
how's Ol' Blue doing, son?' his father wants
to know.
'Awesome Dad! He'd talk ya bloody head off.
But you just won't believe this. He's such a
brilliant talker, they'd like him to have a
go in the reading class!'
'Read?' exclaims his father. 'No kidding!
Jeez, I knew he was smart. Can you get Ol'
Blue into that program?'
'Just send $4,500. He's as good as in.'
As quick as the money arrives, it is spent.
At the end of the term the young bloke
realises a problem...When he goes home for
the holidays, his father will find out the
dog can neither talk nor read. So on the way
home he stops and shoots the dog.
When he arrives home his father is all
excited. 'Where's Ol' Blue? I just can't wait
to talk with him and see him read something!'
'Dad,' the boy says, 'It all had a bad
outcome. Yesterday morning, just before we
left to drive home, Ol' Blue was in the
living room reading the Wall Street Journal.
Out of nowhere he turned to me and asked,
'So, is your dad still having an affair with
that little redhead barmaid from the pub?''
The father groans and whispers, 'I'll have to
shoot that bastard before he blabs to your
Mother!'
'I already did, Dad!'
'Good boy!'
The kid went on to be a successful lawyer.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Friday, January 22, 2010
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Sunday, January 03, 2010
Saturday, January 02, 2010
Friday, January 01, 2010
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Friday, December 25, 2009
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Friday, December 11, 2009
An Italian Auction
Within seconds, the bid stalls at one million Euros, and the gasp from the crowd identifies the excitement that prevails in the room. The successful bidder is the last one who bid one million, and the auctioneer counts down the bid, "Going once, going twice, and sold to the gentleman sitting in front of me for one million Euros."
Now, you are going to have to see the video for yourself. The auctioneer is exuberant. The pace is fast. The conclusion? Priceless.
Friday, November 27, 2009
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Friday, September 18, 2009
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Rich Son Poor Son
Better to have a poor son who takes care of his parents, than to having rich and successful sons who have no time for their parents!
Friday, September 11, 2009
Saturday, September 05, 2009
Wednesday, September 02, 2009
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Fierce Woman of Singapore!
Man hit by girlfriend is director of a local property company:
http://www.asiaone.com/News/AsiaOne%2BNews/Singapore/Story/A1Story20090830-164459.html
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Monday, August 17, 2009
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Friday, August 14, 2009
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Monday, August 10, 2009
Saturday, August 08, 2009
Thursday, August 06, 2009
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Deadly Night Shift from 2.5 miles away
This is an actual Night Vision video clip from Iraq.
Read this first so you know what you are watching, then watch the video.
You have to watch this... this is unreal, 2.5 miles away, at night and it looks like they are right there.
Heck of a weapon too.......
The pictures were taken from an AC130 Specter gunship two and a half miles away.
The guys in the picture are setting up a roadside bomb and planning to ambush an American convoy which followed a short while after the pictures were taken.
They were setting up for the ambush and were pacing off the distance from the bomb to where the convoy was to pass by.
Turn your sound up. The level of effort these crews put forth to control the enemy's antics is commendable, and their marksmanship with those electronically controlled 40 mm cannons is astounding.
Friday, July 10, 2009
New Russian Jet Fighter Plane
Russia now has the number 1 fighter plane in the world... SU-30- Vectored Thrust with Canards.
As you watch this airplane, look at the canards moving along side of, and just below the canopy rail. The "canards" are the Small wings forward of the main wings.? The smoke and contrails provide a sense of the actual flight path, sometimes in reverse direction.
This video is of an in-flight demonstration flown by the Russian's-30MK fighter aircraft. You will not believe what you are About to see.
The fighter can stall from high speed, stopping forward motion in seconds (full stall). Then it demonstrates an ability to descend tail first without causing a compressor stall. It can also recover from a flat spin in less than a minute. These maneuver capabilities don't exist in any other aircraft in the world today.. Take a look at the video with the sound up.
This aircraft is of concern to U.S. and NATO planners. We don't know which nations Will soon be flying the SU-30MK. They're hoping China isn't one of them......
Lawrence Livermore of US National Laboratory Note:
"Friends worked with advanced aircraft flight control systems and concepts for many years as an extension of stability control and means of control. Canards and vectored thrust were among many concepts examined to extend our fighter aircraft performance.
"Neither our current or next generation aircraft now poised for funding & production can in any way match the performance of this Russian aircraft NOW FLYING, in any near combat situation. Somehow the bankrupt Russian aircraft industry has out-produced our complex politically tainted aerospace
"Scratch any ideas of close in air-to-air combat with this aircraft in the future. Looking for the perfect gift?".
Wednesday, July 08, 2009
Saturday, July 04, 2009
Tyres safety
Please note the instruction on the video.
I had argument with local tyre shop owner on this before. He had insisted on putting the new tyres on the front. (His argument is that nowadays most cars are front-wheel drive so the driving force is from the front wheel BUT as shown in the video, it is the grip whilst driving on the wet road that is critical).
I had to put my foot down and insisting on putting the new tyres at the back.
Another thing to note is always if possible change the tyres in pair as if one change only one tyre, the grip will not be balance.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Sunday, June 28, 2009
The Last Post - A remarkable rendition
This does sometimes bring a tear to people's eyes!
'The Last Post' is a universal tune among almost all the armed forces of the world, though it may vary among them in its execution.
In this example, the bugle call is played in its entirety, and it is a sad and beautiful thing to hear. The unknown young lady bugler has terrific breath power.
She is accompanied by Andre Riéu and his orchestra.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
The Dance
IT IS AMAZING THE ADVERSITIES SOME PEOPLE ARE ABLE TO OVERCOME.
In a Chinese modern dance competition on TV one very uniquecouple won one of the top prizes. The lady, in her 30's, was a dancer who had trained since she was a little girl. Later in life, she lost her entire right arm in an accident and fell into a state of depression for a few years.
Someone then asked her to coach a Children's dancing group..
From that point on, she realized that she could not forget dancing. She still loved to dance and wanted to dance again.
So, she started to do some of her old routines, but, having lost
her arm, she had also lost her balance.
It took a while before she could even make simple turns and> spins without falling. Then she heard of a man in his 20s who had lost a leg in an accident. He had also fallen into the
usual denial, depression and anger type of emotional roller
coaster. But, she was determined to find him and persuade
him to dance with her..
He had never danced, and to dance
with one leg....are you joking with me? "No way!"
But, she didn't give up, and he reluctantly agreed thinking, "I have nothing else to do anyway." She started to teach him dancing. The two broke up a few times because he had no concept of using muscle, how to control his body, and knew none of the basic things about dancing.
When she became frustrated and lost patience with him, he would walk out. Eventually, they came back together and started training seriously.
They hired a choreographer to design routines for them. She would fly high (held by him) with both arms (a sleeve for an arm) flying in the air. He could bend horizontally supported by one leg with her leaning on him, etc.
In the competition, as you will see, they dance beautifully and they legitimately won the competition.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
AMAZING... Perito Moreno Glacier
This only happens every four years - it is amazing what we can see from our own homes if we are unable to travel.
This would be as exciting to see as Niagra Falls. Enjoy!!
Judy Perito Moreno Glacier in southern Argentina .
This is an every-four-year event that has gone on for centuries. Absolutely amazing!
This clip is of the spectacular South American glacier, The Perito Moreno Glacier, which breaks up every four years...
Like clockwork, give or take a week.
There are photographers from the four corners of the earth that come to Southern Argentina and literally camp out at the glacier site in order to get the actual breakup on film.
The individual who filmed this did a marvelous job. This is Something your children and grandchildren should surely see!
Saturday, June 06, 2009
Jungle Alcohol
This is a video clip from a French documentary about Africa. You may not understand a word, but the video is self-explanatory!
There are these trees that grow in Africa which, once a year, produce very juicy fruits that contain a large percentage of alcohol.
Because there is a shortage of water, as soon as the fruits are ripe, animals come there to help protect themselves from the heat. The fruits ferment and the animals take in alcohol!
What happens next, you can watch for yourselves.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Smart Little Girl on Jay Leno Show!
She's only 3 1/2 years old, and she sure is one smart little Yankie!
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Monday, May 18, 2009
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Friday, April 24, 2009
Pete the Skating Dog!
This dog knows a few human tricks! Heck, it can even do those tricks most of us can't do. But it can do something all of us can, but not expected from a dog - a High 5!!
Friday, April 17, 2009
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Saturday, April 04, 2009
Friday, April 03, 2009
Thursday, April 02, 2009
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Monday, March 30, 2009
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Dr. Lin's Poem - published by the Washington Post
When we are billed to be the next Superpower, we are called The Threat.
When we closed our doors, you smuggled drugs to open markets.
When we embrace Free Trade, you blame us for taking away your jobs.
When we were falling apart, you marched in your troops and wanted your fair share.
When we tried to put the broken pieces back together again, Free Tibet, you screamed, It Was an Invasion!
When we tried Communism, you hated us for being Communist.
When we embrace Capitalism, you hate us for being Capitalist.
When we have a billion people, you said we were destroying the planet.
When we tried limiting our numbers, you said we abused human rights.
When we were poor, you thought we were dogs.
When we loan you cash, you blame us for your national debts.
When we build our industries, you call us Polluters.
When we sell you goods, you blame us for global warming.
When we buy oil, you call it exploitation and genocide.
When you go to war for oil, you call it liberation.
When we were lost in chaos and rampage, you demanded rules of law.
When we uphold law and order against violence, you call it violating human rights.
When we were silent, you said you wanted us to have free speech.
When we are silent no more, you say we are brainwashed-xenophobics.
Why do you hate us so much, we asked.
No, you answered, we don't hate you.
We don't hate you either. But, do you understand us?
Of course we do, you said, we have AFP, CNN and BBC's...
What do you really want from us? Think hard first, then answer...
Because you only get so many chances.
Enough is Enough, Enough Hypocrisy for This One World.
We want One World, One Dream, and Peace on Earth.
This Big Blue Earth is Big Enough for all of Us.
Duo-Liang Lin, Ph. D.
Professor Emeritus of Physics University
at Buffalo State University of New York
Buffalo, New York 14260-1500
Email: DLLIN@buffalo.edu
